Preparing for the Work Between Sessions

Listen to: Work Between Sessions
0:00 0:00

By Ari Sotiriou MA PGDip psychodynamic psychotherapist


Therapy does not only happen during the time we spend together in the consulting room. Much of the real work takes place in the ordinary moments of everyday life: during conversations with a partner, while driving home from work, lying awake at night, or noticing a feeling that seems difficult to explain.

The worksheets you will find alongside these articles are designed to help you make use of those moments. They are not tests. They are not homework in the traditional sense. They are simply invitations to pause, notice and become curious about your own experience.

Each worksheet has a particular purpose. Some explore relationships, others focus on emotions, conflict, loss, anxiety, self-esteem or patterns that may have developed over many years. Together they become part of the therapeutic process rather than something separate from it.


Why use worksheets at all?

People often imagine that therapy works through insight alone. We understand something about ourselves and, almost magically, everything changes.

Unfortunately, it is rarely that simple.

Our emotional lives are shaped by experiences that often occurred long before we had words to describe them. These experiences continue to influence how we think, feel and relate to other people, often outside our conscious awareness.

This is why the period between sessions matters.

As you move through your week, life presents countless opportunities to notice your emotional world as it unfolds. A worksheet provides somewhere to hold those experiences before they fade or become mixed with later thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes a single sentence written shortly after an argument can tell us far more than an hour spent trying to remember it a week later.


Thinking rather than reacting

One of the central ideas in British Psychoanalytic Theory is that emotional growth depends upon developing the capacity to think about our feelings rather than simply reacting to them.

Wilfred Bion described the importance of transforming raw emotional experiences into thoughts that can be understood and reflected upon. At times, feelings such as fear, shame, anger or loneliness can seem overwhelming. Rather than trying to get rid of them, therapy helps us become more able to stay with them long enough to understand what they may be communicating.

The worksheets are intended to support this process.

Rather than asking, “How do I stop feeling this?”, they often invite a different question:

“What might this feeling be trying to tell me?”

That small shift can make a remarkable difference.


There are no right answers

Many people worry about completing worksheets correctly.

Some spend a long time trying to write the perfect answer. Others avoid opening them altogether because they feel unsure where to begin.

Neither response is unusual.

In fact, how you approach a worksheet often tells us something valuable about how you approach challenges more generally. Do you become self-critical? Do you postpone difficult tasks? Do you feel pressure to perform? Do you fear disappointing other people?

These reactions are not obstacles to therapy.

They are part of the therapy.

Sometimes the most useful session begins with a client saying:

“I couldn’t do the worksheet.”

That is not failure. It is information that helps us understand what happened emotionally when you tried.


A space between sessions

Donald Winnicott wrote about the importance of a “potential space”—an intermediate area between our inner world and external reality where creativity, reflection and emotional growth can take place.

You might think of these worksheets in that way.

They are not intended to analyse yourself or solve your problems alone.

Instead, they provide a temporary holding place for experiences that we can later think about together.

Perhaps you notice a recurring argument with your partner.

Perhaps a situation at work leaves you feeling unexpectedly anxious.

Perhaps you cannot explain why you suddenly felt flat for an entire afternoon.

Rather than trying to make immediate sense of these experiences, simply recording them allows them to remain available for exploration in therapy.

Often their meaning only becomes clearer when we look at them together.


Be curious rather than critical

If there is one attitude that will help you most with these worksheets, it is curiosity.

Try not to judge your thoughts or feelings as good or bad.

Instead, ask yourself:

  • What happened?
  • What did I notice in myself?
  • What emotions were present?
  • What did I want to do?
  • What surprised me?

You do not need perfect language.

Bullet points are enough.

Single words are enough.

Sometimes even an unfinished sentence is enough.

The aim is not to produce a polished piece of writing but to leave small footprints that we can follow together later.


Preparing for the deeper work ahead

The worksheets that accompany these articles each focus on a particular aspect of emotional life. Some may feel immediately relevant, while others may seem less important until a particular moment in your therapy.

Take your time with them.

Some will take only a few minutes.

Others may stay with you for several days.

You are never expected to complete every question or to have all the answers. In psychotherapy, questions are often more valuable than conclusions.

Think of each worksheet as another conversation between sessions—a quiet place where thoughts can begin to take shape before we meet again.

Over time, these small moments of reflection accumulate. They help build the capacity not only to understand yourself more deeply but also to approach your emotional life with greater compassion, curiosity and resilience.

The worksheets do not replace therapy.

They prepare the ground in which therapy can take root and grow.


Accessing the Interactive Worksheet

Many of the articles on this blog are accompanied by an interactive worksheet designed to help you put the ideas into practice between therapy sessions. These worksheets are not intended to replace psychotherapy. Rather, they provide a structured way to slow down, reflect on your experiences, and prepare for the deeper work we may undertake together. You can complete them at your own pace, save your progress, and return to them whenever you need.

If you would like to receive the interactive worksheet that accompanies this article, simply complete the request form below with your name and email address. We will send you a link to access the worksheet directly. We also welcome your feedback. If you have found this article helpful, or if there are topics you would like us to explore in future articles and worksheets, please let us know. Your comments help us continue developing resources that support people on their therapeutic journey.


Name

Your details will only be used to send you the worksheet and occasional clinical resources from Online Therapy Clinic. You may unsubscribe at any time.


Photo credit: Lum3n / Pexels

Audio narration produced using ElevenLabs voice technology.