A comprehensive guide to understanding psychodynamic psychotherapy, online therapy, and deciding whether this approach is the right fit for you.
Introduction
Beginning psychotherapy is rarely an impulsive decision.
For many people, it follows months—or even years—of wondering whether they should ask for help. Perhaps life has become increasingly difficult to manage. Perhaps the same problems keep returning despite your best efforts. Or perhaps there is simply a growing sense that something no longer feels quite right, even if it is difficult to put into words.
If you have found this page, you may already be asking some important questions.
What exactly is psychodynamic psychotherapy?
How is it different from other forms of therapy?
Can online psychotherapy really be effective?
How do I know whether this approach—and this therapist—is the right fit for me?
These are thoughtful questions. In my experience, people who ask them are already beginning the process of reflection that psychotherapy invites.
This guide has been written to help you make an informed decision.
It is not intended to persuade you that psychodynamic psychotherapy is the best approach for everyone. Different forms of therapy help different people at different stages of their lives. The most important thing is not choosing the “right” type of therapy in the abstract, but finding an approach—and a therapist—that feels appropriate for your own circumstances, personality, and hopes for change.
Over the following pages, I will explain what psychodynamic psychotherapy is, how I work at Online Therapy Clinic, why the therapeutic relationship matters so much, and what you can expect if we decide to work together.
Whether you eventually choose to begin therapy with me, another therapist, or decide that now is not the right time, I hope this guide gives you a clearer understanding of what psychotherapy can offer and helps you make your decision with confidence.
Why Read This Before Your First Appointment?
Starting psychotherapy can feel a little like setting out on an unfamiliar journey.
Most of us would not buy a house, begin a university course, or accept a new job without first trying to understand what lies ahead. Yet many people arrive at their first therapy appointment knowing remarkably little about what psychotherapy actually involves.
That is hardly surprising.
Films often portray therapy as simply talking about childhood on a sofa. Social media frequently presents it as a place to receive advice or coping strategies. Online platforms can unintentionally make therapy appear like any other digital service—something to access whenever life becomes difficult and pause whenever things improve.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is rather different.
It is neither a conversation with a sympathetic friend nor a series of techniques applied to individual problems. It is a structured, collaborative process that unfolds over time through a reliable therapeutic relationship.
Understanding this before your first appointment can make a significant difference.
When people know what psychotherapy is—and what it is not—they often feel less anxious about beginning. They understand why regular sessions matter, why trust develops gradually rather than immediately, and why meaningful psychological change usually takes time rather than occurring in a single conversation.
This guide is therefore intended as an introduction, not only to psychodynamic psychotherapy itself, but also to the way I practise at Online Therapy Clinic.
My hope is that, by the time you reach the end, you will have a realistic picture of what working together might involve and feel better equipped to decide whether this is the right therapeutic approach for you.
What Is Psychodynamic Psychotherapy?
One of the most common questions I am asked is surprisingly simple.
“What actually happens in psychodynamic psychotherapy?”
People often imagine that psychotherapy consists of talking about problems while a therapist listens quietly and occasionally asks questions. While listening carefully is certainly an important part of the work, psychodynamic psychotherapy is about much more than describing difficult experiences.
At its heart, psychodynamic psychotherapy is an invitation to become curious about yourself.
It is an opportunity to explore not only what is happening in your life today, but also the deeper emotional patterns that may have been quietly shaping your thoughts, relationships, and decisions for many years.
Many of these patterns operate outside our immediate awareness.
We may find ourselves entering similar relationships despite promising ourselves that this time things will be different. We may repeatedly lose confidence just when opportunities arise. We may become overwhelmed by emotions that seem out of proportion to what has happened, or struggle to express feelings that remain locked away despite wanting to share them.
Often, these experiences can feel confusing.
We know what keeps happening.
We simply do not understand why.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy begins from the idea that our minds are richer and more complex than we usually recognise. Our present lives are influenced not only by what we consciously think and remember, but also by earlier experiences, emotional expectations, and ways of relating to other people that have gradually become part of who we are.
These are not memories that need to be “dug up” or hidden secrets waiting to be discovered.
More often, they reveal themselves gently through the way we experience our lives in the present: how we form relationships, respond to disappointment, manage success, cope with conflict, or protect ourselves from emotional pain.
The aim of psychotherapy is therefore not to search endlessly through the past.
It is to understand how your past continues to live within your present, so that you have greater freedom to respond differently in the future.
That is why psychodynamic psychotherapy is often described as a depth-oriented therapy.
Rather than concentrating only on the surface of a problem, we become interested in the emotional roots from which it has grown.
For many people, this understanding brings something profoundly relieving.
Instead of feeling that they are somehow “broken” or repeatedly making the same mistakes for no reason, they begin to see that their ways of thinking, feeling, and relating often made sense at an earlier stage of life. What once helped them adapt or survive may simply no longer serve them in the same way today.
Psychotherapy is not about judging those patterns.
It is about understanding them with compassion.
And understanding creates the possibility of change.
What Can Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Help With?
People sometimes wonder whether psychodynamic psychotherapy is designed only for severe psychological difficulties.
In reality, many people begin therapy not because they are experiencing a crisis, but because they have reached a point where they want to understand themselves more deeply.
Some arrive feeling anxious much of the time, even though they cannot identify a clear reason.
Others describe a persistent sense of sadness, emotional exhaustion, or feeling disconnected from themselves and from the people they care about.
Many come because relationships have become painful or confusing. They may notice that the same patterns seem to repeat with partners, family members, friends, or colleagues. Different people, different situations, yet somehow the emotional experience feels strangely familiar.
Others seek psychotherapy during important life transitions.
Becoming a parent.
Leaving home.
Changing career.
Retirement.
Bereavement.
Divorce.
Migration to another country.
Even positive changes can stir emotions that are difficult to understand without a space for reflection.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy can be particularly helpful when difficulties involve recurring patterns rather than isolated events.
For example, you might notice that you:
- struggle with anxiety or persistent worry;
- experience periods of low mood or depression;
- find it difficult to trust other people;
- repeatedly enter relationships that leave you feeling hurt or unseen;
- feel overwhelmed by guilt, shame, or self-criticism;
- find yourself putting everyone else’s needs before your own;
- experience a persistent sense of emptiness despite outward success;
- become stuck between conflicting desires or life choices;
- feel uncertain about who you are or what you truly want from life.
These experiences may appear very different on the surface, yet they often share something in common.
They invite us to ask not simply “How can I make this feeling disappear?” but also “Why does this particular difficulty keep returning in my life?”
That shift in perspective is one of the defining characteristics of psychodynamic psychotherapy.
Rather than treating symptoms in isolation, we try to understand the person who is experiencing them.
Your anxiety, sadness, relationship difficulties, or self-doubt are not seen as isolated problems that need to be removed. They are understood as meaningful experiences that have developed within the context of your life story, your relationships, and the ways you have learned to protect yourself emotionally.
This does not mean that therapy ignores present-day difficulties.
Quite the opposite.
We begin with what is happening in your life now. But instead of remaining only at the level of immediate events, we gradually explore how these experiences connect with broader patterns that have shaped your emotional world over time.
For many people, this broader understanding becomes one of the most valuable aspects of psychotherapy.
Instead of feeling trapped in an endless cycle of managing one problem after another, they begin to recognise the deeper patterns that link them together.
And once those patterns become visible, new possibilities often begin to emerge.
Therapy Is More Than Having Someone to Talk To
Many people decide to begin therapy because they have reached a point where they feel overwhelmed.
Perhaps they have been carrying anxiety for years. Perhaps a relationship has broken down. Perhaps they have lost someone important, are struggling at work, or simply feel exhausted by trying to hold everything together.
In those moments, having someone who listens with warmth, patience, and genuine attention can feel deeply relieving.
Being heard matters.
Many people have never had the experience of speaking openly without fear of being judged, interrupted, or expected to have all the answers.
Psychotherapy offers that opportunity.
But psychodynamic psychotherapy also asks a further question.
Once you feel heard, what happens next?
Listening alone can provide comfort. It can reduce loneliness and help us organise our thoughts. Sometimes that is exactly what we need.
Yet many people discover that despite talking to friends, reading books, listening to podcasts, or receiving well-meaning advice, they continue to encounter the same emotional difficulties.
The circumstances change.
The underlying experience does not.
The same arguments return in different relationships.
The same fears emerge in different situations.
The same feelings of rejection, guilt, shame, or self-doubt seem to follow them wherever they go.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy becomes interested in these recurring patterns.
Instead of asking only, “What happened this week?” we begin asking, “Why does this experience feel so familiar?”
That question often opens the door to a much deeper understanding.
Why Insight Can Lead to Lasting Change
When people hear the word insight, they sometimes imagine it means simply gaining new information.
In psychotherapy, insight is something rather different.
It is the moment when understanding becomes emotionally real.
Most of us already know many things about ourselves.
We may know that we worry too much.
That we find it difficult to trust people.
That we avoid conflict.
That we repeatedly choose partners who are emotionally unavailable.
Knowing these facts is important, but knowledge by itself rarely changes deeply established patterns.
Many of us have experienced this in other areas of life.
We know that regular exercise is good for us.
We know that sleep matters.
We know that spending less time on our phones might improve our wellbeing.
Knowing is not usually the difficult part.
Change becomes possible when understanding reaches not only our thinking, but also our emotional experience.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy creates the conditions in which that deeper understanding can gradually develop.
This is one reason therapy unfolds over time rather than through a series of isolated conversations.
Before becoming a psychotherapist, I spent many years working internationally as an electronics engineer and later in business development within the technology sector. That experience gave me a lasting appreciation of the pressures faced by professionals, business leaders, entrepreneurs, and people navigating demanding careers while trying to maintain meaningful personal relationships.
Each session builds upon those that came before.
Small observations begin to connect.
Experiences that once felt unrelated gradually reveal unexpected links.
Feelings that previously seemed confusing begin to make sense within the context of your own life.
People often describe this process by saying things like:
“I’ve always known that happened to me, but I’ve never understood how much it still affects me.”
Or:
“I suddenly realised I’ve been expecting everyone to react to me in the same way my family did.”
These moments cannot be forced.
They emerge naturally through thoughtful reflection and a relationship that feels safe enough to explore difficult experiences without becoming overwhelmed by them.
Insight is therefore not an end in itself.
Its value lies in the freedom it creates.
When we begin to understand why we respond in certain ways, we also discover that those responses are not the only possibilities available to us.
Therapy Is a Collaborative Process
People sometimes imagine that psychotherapy involves a therapist analysing them while they sit quietly and wait for explanations.
The reality is much more collaborative.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is something we create together.
You bring your experiences, thoughts, questions, memories, hopes, uncertainties, and emotions.
I bring careful listening, clinical experience, curiosity, and a commitment to helping us think together about whatever emerges.
Neither of us begins with all the answers.
Instead, we develop an understanding gradually through conversation.
Sometimes our sessions will focus on events that have happened during the week.
Sometimes an unexpected memory will emerge.
Sometimes we may spend an entire session exploring a feeling that seemed almost insignificant when you first mentioned it.
There is rarely a fixed agenda.
Instead, we pay attention to what feels emotionally alive in the room.
Over time, people often become surprised by the connections that emerge.
An anxiety about work may lead to a discussion about childhood expectations.
A disagreement with a partner may illuminate longstanding fears of rejection.
A recurring dream may resonate with feelings that previously seemed impossible to describe.
These links are not created artificially.
They become visible because psychotherapy provides something that everyday life rarely allows: uninterrupted time to think, to feel, and to wonder.
That process of wondering together lies at the heart of psychodynamic psychotherapy.
It is not about finding quick answers.
It is about developing a deeper relationship with your own inner world.
Online Therapy Is Still a Real Therapeutic Relationship
When online psychotherapy first became widely available, many people understandably wondered whether meaningful therapeutic work could really take place through a screen.
It is a reasonable question.
After all, we often associate important relationships with physical presence.
Yet experience—and a growing body of research—has shown that online psychotherapy can be every bit as thoughtful, emotionally engaged, and clinically effective as therapy conducted in the consulting room.
What matters most is not the distance between two people.
It is the quality of attention they are able to give one another.
In many ways, online psychotherapy offers its own unique advantages.
You attend from a place that is already part of your everyday life.
You avoid the stress of travelling.
If you relocate, travel frequently for work, or live abroad, therapy can continue without interruption.
For many people, this continuity becomes one of the greatest strengths of online psychotherapy.
At Online Therapy Clinic, I work with people living in many different countries.
Some are expatriates adjusting to a new culture.
Some are internationally mobile professionals.
Some are couples living apart.
Others simply prefer the privacy and flexibility that online therapy provides.
Although our sessions take place through a screen, the work itself remains deeply human.
The conversations, emotions, silences, moments of uncertainty, discoveries, and gradual development of trust are exactly the same therapeutic processes that have always been at the heart of psychodynamic psychotherapy.
The Therapeutic Frame: Why Structure Creates Freedom
One of the ideas that surprises many people when they first begin psychodynamic psychotherapy is that the structure of therapy is not separate from the therapy itself.
The regular appointment time.
The agreed session length.
The consistency from one week to the next.
The way we begin and end each meeting.
These are sometimes referred to as the therapeutic frame.
At first, they can appear to be little more than practical arrangements.
In reality, they serve a much deeper purpose.
Imagine trying to have an important conversation while constantly being interrupted.
Or attempting to learn a musical instrument if the lessons happened at random times with different teachers each week.
The activity itself might remain the same, but the lack of consistency would make genuine progress much more difficult.
Psychotherapy is no different.
Meaningful emotional work requires a setting that is reliable enough for your mind to gradually feel safe.
When the structure of therapy remains steady, you no longer have to spend energy wondering when the next session will happen, whether the relationship is dependable, or whether the space will still be there when difficult feelings arise.
The frame quietly carries those uncertainties for you.
It creates a place where attention can gradually turn towards your inner world instead.
Paradoxically, it is this dependable structure that gives people the freedom to explore uncertainty, vulnerability, and change.
Why We Usually Meet Every Week
People sometimes ask why psychodynamic psychotherapy is usually offered as a weekly therapy rather than occasional appointments.
It is a thoughtful question.
After all, many aspects of modern life encourage flexibility.
We arrange meetings when convenient, postpone commitments when our schedules become busy, and often expect support to be available whenever we need it.
Psychotherapy follows a different rhythm.
Emotional life rarely develops in isolated moments.
It unfolds continuously, day after day, relationship after relationship.
For this reason, psychotherapy works best when it too has a steady rhythm.
Weekly sessions create a sense of continuity.
Instead of beginning again each time, we continue an ongoing conversation.
Thoughts that emerged last week can develop further.
Feelings that seemed confusing often become clearer with time.
Connections gradually reveal themselves.
Trust deepens almost without either of us noticing.
This process cannot be rushed.
Nor can it easily be recreated through occasional conversations separated by long intervals.
Many people are surprised to discover that some of the most important work in psychotherapy happens between sessions.
A conversation stays with you.
A memory returns unexpectedly.
You notice yourself responding differently to someone close to you.
You begin observing your own thoughts with greater curiosity.
The weekly rhythm provides enough continuity for these reflections to accumulate, while also allowing enough time for everyday life to continue unfolding.
Rather than interrupting life, psychotherapy gradually becomes woven into it.
When Life Gets in the Way
Of course, life is rarely predictable.
People become unwell.
Children need looking after.
Flights are delayed.
Unexpected work commitments arise.
Family emergencies happen.
Psychotherapy does not ask us to pretend that these realities do not exist.
There will always be occasions when a session genuinely cannot take place.
What matters is not perfection.
It is the shared understanding that our regular meetings matter.
For this reason, I ask clients to let me know as early as possible whenever they need to cancel or rearrange a session.
The practical reason is straightforward.
A reserved appointment has been held exclusively for you.
But there is also a therapeutic reason.
Regular attendance communicates something important.
It says:
“This space matters.”
“This relationship matters.”
“My emotional life deserves time and attention.”
Most cancellations are simply the result of everyday life.
Occasionally, however, we may notice that cancelling becomes easier just as particularly difficult subjects begin to emerge.
This is not something to feel guilty about.
Quite the opposite.
It often becomes an opportunity for us to think together about what may be making therapy feel emotionally challenging at that particular moment.
In psychodynamic psychotherapy, even interruptions can sometimes become part of the work.
Not because every cancellation carries hidden meaning, but because we remain curious rather than making assumptions.
The Therapeutic Relationship Is Part of the Therapy
Perhaps the most distinctive feature of psychodynamic psychotherapy is that the relationship between therapist and client is not simply the setting in which therapy happens.
It is one of the ways therapy happens.
Every significant relationship in our lives leaves its mark.
From our earliest experiences onwards, we gradually develop expectations about other people.
Will they listen?
Will they criticise?
Will they disappoint me?
Will they leave?
Can I rely on them?
Can I show vulnerability safely?
Most of the time, we are not consciously aware of these expectations.
They simply become part of how we move through the world.
The therapeutic relationship offers a unique opportunity to observe these patterns as they emerge in real time.
You may find yourself worrying that I will misunderstand you.
You may hesitate to speak openly about something that feels embarrassing.
You may become frustrated if I ask a question that doesn’t immediately make sense.
You may even wonder whether I am disappointed in you after a difficult session.
None of these experiences are unusual.
Nor are they signs that therapy is going wrong.
Often, they become valuable opportunities to understand how similar feelings may arise in other important relationships.
This is one reason I encourage openness whenever something about our work together feels uncomfortable, confusing, or disappointing.
Psychotherapy does not require us to avoid difficult conversations.
In fact, learning how to have them safely often becomes one of the most important parts of the work.
Many people have spent years believing that expressing disappointment will damage a relationship, or that disagreement inevitably leads to rejection.
The therapeutic relationship provides an opportunity to discover that relationships can survive honesty.
Sometimes they even become stronger because of it.
Trust Is Built, Not Assumed
People occasionally apologise because they do not yet trust their therapist.
I always reassure them that there is nothing to apologise for.
Trust is not something that can be expected simply because two people have agreed to meet.
It develops gradually.
Like every important relationship, it grows through repeated experiences of being listened to, respected, and understood.
Some people begin speaking openly from the first session.
Others need much longer before certain experiences feel safe enough to share.
Both are entirely natural.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy respects this pace.
There is no expectation that you should tell me everything immediately.
Nor is there a correct way to do therapy.
Part of my role is to pay attention not only to what is spoken, but also to what still feels difficult to say.
Sometimes silence itself carries meaning.
Sometimes uncertainty is where our work begins.
The aim is never to force understanding before it is ready.
Instead, we create the conditions in which trust—and with it, deeper reflection—can develop naturally over time.
Working Across Languages and Cultures
No two people arrive in therapy with exactly the same story.
For some, the most important experiences have unfolded within a single town, community, or family. For others, life has involved moving between countries, cultures, and languages, gradually building a sense of home across more than one place.
My own life has followed that second path.
Having lived and worked in Greece, Switzerland, the United Kingdom, and now France, I know that identity is rarely shaped by one culture alone. It is often formed through movement, adaptation, loss, discovery, and the ongoing task of finding where we belong.
Many of the people I work with have similarly international lives.
Some are expatriates building a future far from the country in which they grew up.
Some are internationally mobile professionals whose careers require frequent relocation.
Some are in multicultural relationships, where love brings together different languages, traditions, and expectations.
Others have left their country reluctantly because of political circumstances, economic pressures, or family commitments.
Each of these experiences can enrich a person’s life.
Each can also bring emotional challenges that are not always visible to others.
Migration is not only a practical transition.
It is also a psychological one.
Even when moving is a positive choice, it often involves leaving behind familiar places, relationships, customs, and ways of understanding oneself. People sometimes discover that they are grieving things they had not realised they had lost.
At other times, living between cultures raises quieter questions.
“Where do I really belong?”
“Which version of myself feels most authentic?”
“How do I remain connected to my family while building a different life?”
These questions rarely have simple answers.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy offers space to explore them thoughtfully, without feeling pressured to arrive quickly at a conclusion.
I also offer psychotherapy in English, French, and Greek.
Language is much more than a way of communicating information.
It carries memories, relationships, humour, emotion, and identity.
Many multilingual people notice that different feelings become easier to express in different languages.
Some experiences seem to belong naturally to the language in which they first occurred.
Others are easier to reflect upon in a language that offers a little more emotional distance.
Whenever appropriate, we can think together about the role that language itself plays in your emotional life.
Sometimes changing language changes the way an experience can be understood.
Ultimately, psychotherapy is not about helping you become someone else.
It is about creating enough space for the different parts of your identity—wherever they have developed—to meet one another with greater understanding.
What Happens During Your First Consultation?
If you have never attended psychotherapy before, it is entirely natural to wonder what the first meeting will be like.
Many people tell me that they spend far more time worrying about the first appointment than they do about any session that follows.
In reality, the first consultation is usually much less intimidating than people imagine.
Its purpose is not to analyse you.
Nor is it an examination that you can somehow pass or fail.
Instead, it is an opportunity for us to begin getting to know one another and to think together about what has brought you to therapy.
Most people begin by describing whatever feels most important to them at that moment.
There is no expectation that your story should be perfectly organised.
You do not need to prepare notes or remember every important event in your life.
You certainly do not need to know exactly why you are struggling.
Many people begin with something as simple as:
“I’m not entirely sure why I’m here, but I know something needs to change.”
That is often more than enough.
My role during the consultation is to listen carefully, ask questions that help us develop a clearer understanding of your situation, and begin considering whether psychodynamic psychotherapy is likely to be a helpful approach for you.
The consultation is also an opportunity for you to ask questions.
You may wish to know more about how I work, what psychotherapy involves, or what you might expect if we continue meeting.
Choosing a therapist is an important decision.
You should feel able to ask whatever helps you decide whether this feels like the right therapeutic relationship for you.
Towards the end of our conversation, we will usually think together about possible next steps.
Sometimes we both feel that psychodynamic psychotherapy is likely to be helpful, and we agree to begin regular sessions.
Sometimes another therapeutic approach may be more appropriate.
Occasionally, it becomes clear that another professional or specialist service would better meet your needs.
All of these outcomes are perfectly acceptable.
The purpose of the consultation is not to persuade either of us to proceed.
It is to arrive at the most thoughtful decision for you.
Is Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Right for You?
No single therapeutic approach is right for everyone.
Just as different teachers, doctors, or mentors suit different people, psychotherapy is also a matter of finding the right fit.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy may be particularly helpful if you find yourself wanting more than immediate symptom relief.
You may be looking not only to feel better, but also to understand yourself more fully.
Many people who choose this approach are curious about recurring patterns in their lives.
They may notice that similar difficulties keep appearing in different relationships, workplaces, or life situations.
They want to understand not simply what is happening, but why it continues to happen.
This approach may be especially valuable if you are willing to engage in a process of gradual reflection rather than expecting quick solutions.
That does not mean therapy must last for years.
It simply means recognising that meaningful emotional change usually develops through an ongoing relationship rather than through isolated conversations.
On the other hand, there are times when another form of support may be more appropriate.
If you are looking primarily for practical coaching, immediate advice, highly structured exercises, or occasional emotional check-ins without an ongoing commitment, another therapeutic approach may fit your current needs better.
Neither choice is better or worse.
They simply reflect different goals.
The most important question is not:
“Which therapy is best?”
It is:
“Which therapy is most likely to help me at this stage of my life?”
Psychotherapy works best when the approach, the therapist, and the person’s hopes for change are well matched.
Finding that fit is one of the most important parts of beginning therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is online psychodynamic psychotherapy as effective as meeting in person?
For many people, yes.
Research over the past two decades has shown that online psychotherapy can be highly effective for a wide range of emotional and relationship difficulties. While some people continue to prefer face-to-face therapy, others find that meeting online allows them to feel more relaxed, more consistent in their attendance, and better able to integrate therapy into everyday life.
What matters most is not the physical location of the session, but the quality of the therapeutic relationship that develops over time.
How often do we usually meet?
In most cases, I recommend meeting once a week.
Regular weekly sessions provide the continuity that allows trust to develop and emotional patterns to become clearer. While there may occasionally be reasons to adjust the frequency, weekly psychotherapy offers the most stable foundation for meaningful therapeutic work.
How long does psychotherapy usually last?
There is no single answer to this question.
Some people come to therapy with a specific issue they wish to understand over several months. Others choose to continue for longer because they find ongoing reflection valuable as deeper aspects of themselves gradually emerge.
Rather than deciding in advance how long therapy “should” last, we review the work together as it develops and think collaboratively about what feels most helpful.
Will I be expected to talk about my childhood?
Not necessarily.
We begin with whatever feels most important in your life today.
Sometimes present-day experiences naturally lead us to think about earlier relationships or significant life events. At other times, our work remains focused on current circumstances.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is interested in understanding how your life experiences continue to influence you, not in exploring the past for its own sake.
What if I don’t know what to talk about?
This is one of the most common concerns people have before beginning therapy.
You do not need to arrive with a carefully prepared story.
Many meaningful sessions begin with uncertainty, silence, or a simple observation about something that happened during the week.
Part of my role is to help us think together about whatever emerges.
Will you tell me what to do?
My role is not to make decisions on your behalf.
Instead, I aim to help you understand yourself more deeply so that your own decisions become clearer.
There may be times when I offer observations, share ideas, or invite you to consider different perspectives. However, psychodynamic psychotherapy is not about giving advice. It is about helping you develop a fuller understanding of your emotional life and the choices available to you.
What if I become emotional during a session?
Strong emotions are a natural part of being human.
Some people cry during their first session. Others do not become visibly emotional for many months. Some rarely cry at all.
There is no right or wrong way to experience psychotherapy.
Whatever you feel—or do not feel—becomes part of our shared exploration rather than something to judge.
How will I know whether therapy is helping?
Progress in psychotherapy is not always dramatic.
Often it appears in small but meaningful ways.
You may notice that you respond differently during an argument.
You may become less self-critical.
You may recognise a familiar emotional pattern before it takes hold.
Relationships may begin to feel less repetitive and more satisfying.
Over time, many people discover that they are relating not only to others, but also to themselves, with greater understanding and compassion.
What if we decide that psychodynamic psychotherapy isn’t the right approach?
That is an entirely acceptable outcome.
The purpose of our initial consultation is not simply to begin therapy.
It is to decide together whether this approach is likely to be genuinely helpful for you.
Sometimes the most responsible recommendation a therapist can make is that another form of support would better meet a person’s current needs.
Finding the right fit is always more important than beginning therapy quickly.
A Final Thought
If you have read this far, you may already have begun doing something that psychodynamic psychotherapy gently encourages.
You have been reflecting.
Perhaps you recognised yourself in some of the descriptions.
Perhaps certain passages felt unexpectedly familiar.
Perhaps they raised questions that had not previously occurred to you.
Or perhaps you found yourself thinking,
“Yes… that is exactly how it feels.”
Reflection rarely changes our lives overnight.
More often, it begins quietly.
A new thought.
A different question.
A growing curiosity about ourselves.
Psychotherapy does not ask us to become someone different.
It invites us to understand ourselves more fully, so that we are no longer living only from habits, fears, or expectations that may once have protected us but no longer serve us in the same way.
For many people, that understanding becomes one of the most meaningful journeys they ever undertake.
Not because it removes every difficulty.
But because it changes the relationship they have with themselves.
Considering Psychotherapy?
Beginning psychotherapy is a significant decision, and there is no expectation that you should make it immediately.
Many people find it helpful simply to have an initial conversation.
A chance to ask questions.
To describe what has brought them to this point.
To gain a clearer sense of how psychodynamic psychotherapy works.
And to decide whether working together feels like the right fit.
For that reason, I offer a complimentary 15-minute online introductory consultation.
It is an opportunity for us to meet, discuss what you are hoping for, and think together about whether psychodynamic psychotherapy at Online Therapy Clinic is likely to meet your needs.
There is no obligation to begin therapy afterwards.
Sometimes the most important outcome of a first conversation is simply gaining greater clarity about the next step.
Whether that step leads us to work together or helps you find another approach that feels more appropriate, my hope is that you leave the conversation feeling better informed, better understood, and more confident in your decision.
About the Author
Ari Sotiriou, MA, PGDip, UKCP Registered Psychodynamic Psychotherapist
I am a UK-trained psychodynamic psychotherapist with over a decade of experience working with adults and couples in private practice.
My work is grounded in the British psychodynamic tradition and is guided by a simple belief: lasting psychological change begins not with advice, but with understanding.
I work with people experiencing anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, life transitions, bereavement, emotional loss, and the lasting impact of earlier life experiences. Alongside my work with individuals, I have a particular interest in couples therapy and in helping partners understand the emotional patterns that shape their relationships.
Having lived in Greece, Switzerland, the United Kingdom, and France, I also understand many of the opportunities and challenges that accompany international lives. Today I work with clients across the world, including expatriates, internationally mobile professionals, multicultural couples, and people seeking psychotherapy in English, French, or Greek.
Through Online Therapy Clinic, I aim to provide a thoughtful, reliable, and confidential therapeutic space where people can explore their inner lives with curiosity, compassion, and hope.
Could you kindly let me know how you found Online Therapy Clinic?
Photo credit: Elif / Pexels
Audio narration produced using ElevenLabs voice technology.