Moving from “Me” to “Us”
A clinical reflection workbook for couples facing difficult life decisionsThis workbook helps couples slow down and think together before making an important life decision. It is not a test, and there are no right or wrong answers.
It moves gently from understanding, through self-reflection and behaviour change, into joint reflection and a shared sense of the future you are building together.
Begin the Workbook
We each fall into familiar positions when a relationship comes under pressure. None of these are flaws — they are old strategies that once kept us safe. Open each card, rate how often the pattern shows up for you, and reflect on where you recognise it.
Before we bring our partner into the conversation, it helps to know our own mind. Take your time with these — there is no audience here but you.
Understanding is only the beginning. These three commitments turn insight into practice.
For couples completing this together: one partner speaks while the other listens — no interruptions, no persuasion, no fixing. Then swap. Each of you can then use the columns below independently.
Prompt: What surprised me?
Prompt: Where do our hopes overlap?
Prompt: Where are our differences?
Prompt: What assumptions have I made?
Prompt: What do I understand better now?
Imagine your relationship sitting beside you — not you, not your partner, but the relationship itself, as though it were a third presence in the room with its own needs. Reflect on this together.
From understanding to action — what are you building together, and what is the very next step?
Edit the paragraph below until it feels true for both of you.
As you work through the workbook, a short reflective summary will build here — drawn only from what you’ve written, never scored or judged.
“Many couples discover that completing this workbook raises important questions rather than providing immediate answers. That is often where meaningful therapeutic work begins.”
If this workbook has raised more than it has resolved, that’s often a good sign it’s time to talk it through together with someone trained to hold the space. Psychodynamic couples therapy is offered via secure live video.
Individual & Couples Therapy via Live Video • Psychodynamic & CBT Specialisms • English, French & GreekA Note for Your Next Session
If you are working with Ari or Dr Ion, bring this completed workbook to your next session. Optionally, jot anything below you’d like to raise.
© Ari Sotiriou MA PGDip | UKCP Accredited | enquiries@online-therapy-clinic.com
This worksheet is for personal reflection only and does not constitute clinical advice.