1. Introduction to the Case
S, a 40-year-old graphic designer living in London, has faced numerous emotional and psychological challenges stemming from her early life experiences. Originally from Brazil, S lost her father at the age of 7 and was subsequently raised by her single mother along with her two younger brothers. Growing up in a lower-middle-class household, S’s early years were filled with financial strain and emotional turbulence. S had once dreamed of becoming an architect, but due to her family’s financial constraints, she pursued graphic design instead. Though she is satisfied with her professional achievements, the unfulfilled dream of becoming an architect remains a source of frustration.
S is currently involved in an unreciprocated emotional relationship with a close friend who is already in a committed partnership. She took a break from her job and spent several months travelling to reconnect with her roots in Brazil, but eventually returned to London. After a recent car accident, she underwent surgery for a knee injury and is now recovering, unable to work, and feeling increasingly isolated.
2. How a Psychodynamic Approach Can Help
A psychodynamic approach could help S by exploring her unconscious patterns, early life experiences, and how these have impacted her present relationships and emotions. The following key elements of psychodynamic therapy could benefit her:
- Uncovering unconscious patterns related to her early trauma and emotional deprivation.
- Exploring transference of unresolved feelings into her current relationships.
- Working through grief, loss, and unmet needs, particularly around her unfulfilled dream and romantic frustration.
- Increasing self-awareness of defence mechanisms that might keep her in unfulfilling relationships.
- Rebuilding trust and security in herself and in her relationships with others.
By addressing the emotional conflicts and unconscious processes at play, this approach could lead to lasting emotional growth and greater fulfilment.
3. How Journaling Can Help
Journaling could serve as a powerful tool for S to process her emotions and gain clarity about her thoughts. It can help her:
- Express and release emotions, particularly around loss, trauma, and unfulfilled aspirations.
- Gain insight into her emotional patterns and relational dynamics.
- Work through conflicting feelings about her professional and personal life.
- Set goals and clarify aspirations, helping her map a way forward.
- Manage stress and anxiety by organising her thoughts and breaking down overwhelming feelings.
- Reframe negative thoughts and foster self-compassion, allowing her to adopt a more balanced and positive inner dialogue.
Through consistent journaling, S can create a reflective space where she can process her past, gain emotional clarity, and begin to reshape her future direction.
4. S’s Core Belief: “I Cannot Have What I Want”
S associates her unmet aspiration of becoming an architect with the lack of emotional reciprocity in her relationship, reinforcing her belief that she cannot have what she wants. This belief, rooted in her early experiences of financial struggle and emotional challenges, suggests an unconscious pattern where S seeks out situations that confirm her perceived limitations. Addressing this belief through therapeutic techniques such as cognitive restructuring and exploring emotional needs could help her challenge and overcome this deep-seated narrative.
5. Breaking the Cycle
To help S break the cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies, therapy should focus on:
- Cognitive restructuring: Challenging the belief that she cannot have what she wants and helping her to see alternatives and possibilities.
- Addressing emotional needs: Understanding the deeper emotional meaning behind her unreciprocated relationship and unfulfilled career dreams.
- Grieving the losses: Processing her disappointment around not becoming an architect and the emotional rejection in her relationship.
- Building self-worth: Strengthening her sense of self-worth and emotional resilience, enabling her to pursue her desires without fear of rejection or failure.
- Exploring alternative paths to fulfilment: Finding new ways to meet her aspirations, such as engaging in design projects that align with her architectural interests or setting boundaries in her personal relationships.
6. Conclusion
S’s core belief that she cannot have what she desires is deeply rooted in her early experiences of struggle and emotional deprivation. However, through psychodynamic therapy, journaling, and breaking negative thought patterns, she can begin to challenge this belief, heal from past wounds, and develop a more fulfilling and hopeful narrative for her life. By acknowledging her emotional needs, grieving her past disappointments, and fostering a sense of self-worth, S can work toward a future where she feels empowered to pursue what she truly desires.
This revised version maintains the essential themes of the original case while changing the specific details of the client’s identity and life situation.
By Ari Sotiriou M.A. psychodynamic psychotherapist co-founder Online Therapy Clinic