The COVID-19 pandemic changed how we live, work, and connect with those closest to us. I saw firsthand how these changes impacted couples, as the lockdowns created an environment that tested many relationships in new and unexpected ways. During the pandemic, online therapy quickly became a lifeline for couples struggling to manage the pressures of this unique situation. As an online couples therapist, I found myself at the forefront of this shift, helping couples navigate the challenges that the lockdown imposed.
My Experience with the Rise of Online Therapy
Before the pandemic, many of my clients still preferred in-person sessions, even though online therapy was already gaining momentum. But when the world came to a halt, virtual therapy became not just an alternative, but the primary way for couples to continue working on their relationships. Thanks to platforms like Zoom, I was able to keep offering support, and I quickly saw how effective online therapy could be.
The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) noted that by May 2020, 97% of therapists had moved their practice online. I was one of them, and while it required an adjustment, it also revealed benefits I hadn’t fully appreciated before. The accessibility and flexibility of online sessions made it easier for many couples to engage in therapy, particularly those balancing demanding schedules or dealing with the additional stresses of lockdown.
Lockdown as a Containment for Relationship Tensions
One of the most striking things I observed during the lockdown was how it acted as a kind of containment for relationship tensions. In the past, many couples I worked with had natural breaks in their relationship dynamics—time spent at work, socialising with friends, or even commuting allowed them to process emotions independently. But lockdown stripped away those breaks, forcing couples into constant proximity.
For some, this containment brought long-avoided issues to the surface. I worked with couples who were suddenly confronting tensions that had simmered beneath the surface for years. With nowhere to go and no external distractions, these issues couldn’t be ignored. In those moments, I helped couples engage with their feelings and each other in more constructive ways. We explored how to manage stress and build healthier communication patterns, and the online setting actually proved to be a surprisingly effective space for this work.
I found that couples could relax more easily in their own homes, which helped to foster open, honest communication. The Relate charity reported a 42% increase in demand for relationship counselling during the pandemic, much of it moving online. I experienced this surge firsthand, with more couples than ever seeking support to manage the pressures of life under lockdown.
The Struggles of Small Living Spaces
Couples living in cities like London were particularly hard hit by the restrictions of lockdown, especially those in small flats with limited space. Before the pandemic, many of my clients could find a sense of space in their city environments—cafes, parks, and social venues offered much-needed breathing room. But when the lockdown came, couples suddenly found themselves confined to small living quarters, with no escape from the everyday stresses of life.
I remember working with a couple who lived in a one-bedroom flat in London. They both worked from home, shared the same workspace, and had no private area to retreat to when tensions rose. This created immense strain. Together, we worked to set boundaries, even within their tiny space. We carved out designated areas for work and relaxation, and I helped them learn how to communicate their needs effectively without allowing frustration to build. It was a difficult time for them, but online therapy gave them the tools to survive and ultimately strengthen their relationship.
After the Lockdown: The New Challenges of Freedom
When lockdown restrictions eased, another challenge emerged: the containment that had forced couples to confront their issues disappeared. While the lockdown had amplified tensions, it also provided structure. Suddenly, with the return to normal life—work, travel, and social commitments—many couples found themselves struggling to stay connected.
I worked with couples who, having adjusted to the forced closeness of lockdown, now found the increased freedom a new source of stress. Without the external containment of lockdown, couples had to learn to navigate their differences in more intentional ways. In therapy, I helped them find new ways to establish emotional and physical boundaries. We focused on creating rituals and routines that allowed them to reconnect, even as their schedules became busier.
In many ways, I found this to be the most delicate time for couples. The lockdown may have created tension, but it also forced conversations that had been avoided. After the restrictions lifted, couples had to learn how to maintain connection and intimacy without the constant proximity.
The Ongoing Benefits of Online Couples Therapy
One of the most positive aspects of this shift to online therapy has been its continued accessibility and flexibility. For many couples, the convenience of online sessions—being able to attend therapy from their own homes—has made it easier to commit to the process. I’ve seen couples who previously struggled to find time for therapy now able to engage more consistently, which has made a significant difference in their progress.
Online therapy also offers a certain level of comfort. Being in a familiar environment can help couples feel more at ease, which in turn makes them more open during sessions. I’ve found that this often leads to deeper conversations and more honest reflections. As we continue to move forward, I expect that online therapy will remain a key option for couples, particularly those juggling demanding schedules or living in remote areas.
Challenges and Adaptations
Of course, online therapy wasn’t without its challenges. I experienced technical difficulties with clients, such as poor internet connections or distractions at home. Some couples struggled to find the privacy they needed, especially in crowded households. But we adapted. I offered more flexible session times, and we worked around childcare and other responsibilities. In many cases, we broke sessions into smaller, more frequent meetings to keep things manageable. I also provided additional resources like follow-up emails and exercises for couples to work on between sessions, ensuring that progress wasn’t lost in the gaps between our meetings.
My Reflections on the Long-Term Impact of Online Therapy
As life gradually returns to normal, I’ve seen many couples returning to in-person therapy, but the shift to online therapy has left a lasting impact on the way I practice. Online sessions have proven to be a lifeline for couples during one of the most challenging times in recent history. Even now, with lockdowns behind us, I continue to offer online therapy as an option because it remains an effective way to support couples.
I’ve learned that while the pandemic created unprecedented challenges, it also revealed new ways for couples to stay connected, communicate more effectively, and work through their difficulties. Online therapy played an essential role in this, and I’m confident it will continue to be a vital resource for couples long into the future.
By Ari Sotiriou M.A. psychodynamic psychotherapist