As a psychodynamic therapist, I often see people struggling with persistent negative thoughts—the kind that colour their self-perception, shape their relationships, and limit their ability to engage with life fully. These thoughts can feel automatic, as if they define who we are, making it difficult to break free from self-doubt, anxiety, or feelings of unworthiness.
Yet, across different therapeutic approaches—from psychoanalysis and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to neuroscience and exposure therapy (ERP)—there is a clear message: negative thoughts are not absolute truths, nor are we powerless against them.
I wrote this article to offer a bridge between theory and practice, drawing from neuroscience, the British psychoanalytic tradition, and evidence-based therapies to provide a comprehensive yet accessible approach to understanding and managing negative thoughts. Whether you’re in therapy, searching for the right support, or simply looking for ways to work on yourself, my hope is that these insights help you take meaningful steps towards regaining control over your inner world.
Many of us struggle with negative thoughts that seem to take over our minds, shaping how we see ourselves and the world. Sometimes, these thoughts feel impossible to shake off, leaving us stuck in cycles of worry, self-doubt, or fear. But why does this happen? And more importantly, how can we regain control?
Psychology, neuroscience, and therapy offer valuable insights into why negative thoughts persist and what we can do about them. This blog post brings together ideas from neuroscience, psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and exposure therapy (ERP) to help you understand and manage your thoughts more effectively.
If you’re struggling with negativity and looking for support while searching for a therapist, this guide will provide practical tools to help you start working on yourself today.
Why Do Negative Thoughts Dominate?
The Brain’s Natural Bias Towards Negativity
From an evolutionary perspective, our brains are wired to focus more on threats and dangers than on positive experiences. This is known as the negativity bias, a survival mechanism that helped early humans stay alert to potential risks.
At the centre of this process is the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for detecting threats and regulating emotions. When we perceive something as dangerous—whether it’s a real threat or just a distressing thought—the amygdala activates the body’s stress response, making us feel anxious or overwhelmed.
Another factor at play is the availability bias, which means our brains prioritise the thoughts and memories that are most easily accessible. If we’ve had negative experiences in the past, our minds may replay them repeatedly, reinforcing negative thinking patterns.
The Unconscious Mind and Emotional Triggers
The British psychoanalytic school, particularly the work of Melanie Klein and Wilfred Bion, suggests that negative thoughts are not just cognitive distortions but also reflections of deeper emotional patterns.
• Klein’s theory of projective identification suggests that we unconsciously place difficult emotions onto the outside world, which can make our surroundings seem harsher than they really are.
• Bion’s concept of beta elements describes unprocessed emotional experiences that flood the mind in the form of intrusive thoughts. If these emotions aren’t contained, they can feel overwhelming.
From this perspective, negative thoughts aren’t always logical problems to be solved. Sometimes, they are emotional experiences that need to be understood and processed.
How to Manage Negative Thoughts
Understanding why negative thoughts persist is the first step. The next is learning how to work with them rather than feeling trapped by them.
1. Recognise That Thoughts Are Not Facts
One of the most powerful realisations in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is that thoughts are not necessarily true. They are mental events, shaped by past experiences, emotions, and biases.
When a negative thought arises, try to step back and question it rather than accepting it at face value. Ask yourself:
• Is this thought based on evidence or assumptions?
• Would I believe this thought if I were in a different mood?
• If a friend had this thought, what would I say to them?
This approach, known as decentring, helps create distance between yourself and your thoughts. Over time, it weakens their emotional grip.
2. Understand the 90-Second Emotion Rule
Neuroscientific research suggests that an emotion only lasts about 90 seconds unless we reinforce it through rumination. If we simply observe an emotion without reacting to it, it will naturally pass.
This idea is used in exposure and response prevention (ERP), a therapy for anxiety and OCD. Instead of avoiding distressing thoughts or seeking reassurance, ERP teaches you to tolerate discomfort until your brain adapts.
Try this when a negative thought arises:
• Acknowledge the emotion: “I feel anxious right now, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong.”
• Resist the urge to react: Avoid distraction or reassurance-seeking. Instead, let the feeling exist without trying to push it away.
• Give it 90 seconds: Breathe through the discomfort and allow it to pass on its own.
The more you practise this, the more you’ll train your brain to handle difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed.
3. Challenge Avoidance with Small Exposures
Negative thoughts often lead to avoidance behaviours. If you fear failure, you might procrastinate. If you fear rejection, you might avoid social situations. While avoidance brings short-term relief, it reinforces anxiety over time.
A more effective approach is gradual exposure:
1. Identify a situation you tend to avoid.
2. Start small—choose a version of the situation that feels only slightly uncomfortable.
3. Stay with the discomfort and remind yourself that anxiety naturally decreases with time.
For example, if you fear public speaking, you might start by practising in front of a mirror before speaking in front of a small group.
Practical Strategies for Daily Life
4. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
When negative thoughts spiral, use grounding techniques to bring yourself back to reality.
• 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
• Breathing Techniques: Try box breathing—inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group, starting from your feet and working up to your head.
5. Reframe Your Future with Visualisation
The brain doesn’t just remember the past—it also constructs the future. Visualisation is a powerful way to reshape your expectations.
• Imagine a future where you feel just slightly better than you do now.
• Engage all senses—see, hear, and feel the details of this future.
• Connect the visualisation with a real action you can take today, however small.
Studies show that emotionally engaging visualisations strengthen neural pathways, making it easier to move towards positive change.
Finding Support While Searching for a Therapist
If you’re struggling with persistent negative thoughts, finding a therapist can be an important step. But in the meantime, here are some ways to support yourself:
• Self-help books:
• The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy)
• Feeling Good by David Burns (CBT techniques)
• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (Mindfulness & Self-Compassion)
• Online resources: Many therapists offer podcasts, blogs, or courses on managing negative thoughts.
• Mindfulness apps: Headspace, Insight Timer, and Calm offer guided meditations.
Final Thoughts
Negative thoughts are a natural part of being human, but they don’t have to control your life. By combining insights from neuroscience, psychoanalysis, CBT, and ERP, you can learn to understand, tolerate, and reshape your thoughts in a way that fosters resilience.
Rather than trying to eliminate negative thinking altogether, the goal is to change your relationship with your thoughts—to see them for what they are, rather than being consumed by them.
Progress doesn’t happen overnight, but small, consistent steps can lead to profound changes over time. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone—and with the right tools, you can regain control over your mind and emotions.
By Ari Sotiriou Psychodynamic Psychotherapist
+44 (0) 78 9999 3362
Enquiries@online-therapy-clinic.com
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