Ουδέν εστί θηρίον γυναικός αμαχώτερον
“Nothing is a beast more unconquerable than a woman.” (ARISTOPHANES Lysistrata)
This line from ancient Greece speaks to the untamed forces that lie within human nature—our desires, identities, and inner conflicts. It captures a vision of desire as powerful, beautiful, and often uncontrollable, transcending social boundaries and igniting events with life-altering consequences. For the ancient Greeks, such forces shaped fate and character alike, woven into myths that symbolised the depth and mystery of human experience.
Greek mythology, from the allure of Helen of Troy to the chaos that ensued from her actions, reflects this complex dance between desire, identity, and social consequence. In many ways, these themes are a precursor to Freud’s theory of unconscious drives, which reveal how our deepest urges shape our behaviour and relationships.
Today, as our lives become increasingly enmeshed in the digital realm, these ancient lessons remain as pertinent as ever. The digital self, constructed and curated on social media, mirrors these age-old struggles for connection, identity, and validation. In our virtual world, we’re confronted with a unique set of challenges: the allure of idealised images, the isolation of virtual crowds, and the elusive search for authenticity. By exploring the links between ancient Greek mythology and psychoanalysis, we may uncover deeper insights into our modern-day struggles, where digital engagement and isolation often coexist.
1. The Ancient Greek Lens on Desire and Identity
Mythological Power and the Unconquerable Self
The Greeks held desire as a central, often mystical force. Helen of Troy, whose beauty became a legendary source of conflict, personified a kind of unattainable ideal—her allure was more than just a personal trait; it was almost a cosmic force. Helen’s beauty and independence encapsulated the “unconquerable” self: she was desired yet isolated, admired but beyond the reach of others’ control.
This duality speaks to a timeless tension in human relationships—the way that, even in closeness, individuals remain fundamentally separate and free. Helen’s beauty and the chaos it inspired offer a symbol of the paradox of desirability: the greater the attraction, the more divisive it can become. Her story reveals how people may be driven by powerful longings that, if left unchecked, can ignite conflicts and even break down entire social structures.
In our own lives, the desire for an idealised self—often presented through social media—reflects this mythic struggle. Many people curate and display perfected images of themselves, drawing attention and admiration while hiding the less glamorous aspects of their lives. This quest for idealisation has echoes of Helen’s allure, inviting admiration but often at the cost of genuine connection.
Psychoanalytic Reflection: From Eros to Individual Isolation
Freud’s concept of eros—the life drive that compels us toward love, creativity, and connection—parallels the Greek view of desire as both creative and destructive. Eros represents the force that pulls us toward others, but it also brings vulnerability and exposure. The Greeks depicted this dual nature in their myths, where love transcends boundaries and ignites conflict.
Modern digital platforms amplify this duality. Just as Helen’s beauty drew admiration and conflict in equal measure, social media enables individuals to present themselves in highly curated ways, inviting others’ admiration. This digital eros can bring superficial validation, creating a sense of connection, yet often results in isolation. Psychoanalytic therapy explores how these unconscious drives for validation can, if left unexamined, trap us in cycles of desire and frustration. Therapy offers a way to understand these dynamics, allowing people to move toward authentic connection without being ensnared by idealised images.
2. From Ancient Eros to Digital Eros
Idealised Images and Curated Selves
Social media and dating apps allow individuals to create idealised representations of themselves, crafted to attract, inspire, and engage others. This digital curation serves as a modern-day version of Helen’s allure—drawing others in through an almost mythical ideal. Profiles are meticulously constructed to project an image of beauty, success, or desirable qualities, concealing any imperfections or complexities.
Psychoanalytically, this act of creating a “persona” reflects our desire for acceptance and admiration but often leads to feelings of isolation. While the digital self might attract validation, it doesn’t foster real closeness. In fact, the curated self can act as a barrier to deeper, more authentic relationships, as others engage more with the image than the person behind it. Freud’s theories of ego and id shed light on how these unconscious motivations shape our digital lives, often driving us to repeat patterns of superficial interaction that leave us emotionally unsatisfied.
Desire Without Physical Presence
In mythology, love from a distance, like Pygmalion’s idealised attraction to his statue, reflects a yearning that transcends physicality. Digital platforms create similar dynamics, where interactions are marked by the intensity of imagination and the allure of the unknown. Online attraction becomes a kind of “digital eros”—a desire that grows stronger through distance and elusiveness, often more potent than physical closeness.
This form of desire provides validation but not intimacy, triggering what Freud described as a repetition compulsion—a tendency to seek fulfilment in ways that can’t provide it. Digital platforms can trap individuals in this cycle of elusive desire, intensifying the longing without leading to genuine connection. Therapy, however, can help individuals understand these patterns, allowing them to seek relationships that meet their deeper emotional needs rather than remaining in the loop of virtual admiration.
3. Social Disruption and Emotional Turmoil in a Digital Era
Helen’s Echo in Today’s Social Media Conflicts
Just as Helen’s allure sparked a legendary conflict, today’s social media environments can intensify disputes and rivalries. Public arguments, jealousy, and comparison are amplified online, where social dynamics mirror the chain of events that led to the Trojan War. The visibility and reach of digital interactions heighten emotions, creating “digital wars” over perceptions, comparisons, and ideals.
Freud’s notion of repetition compulsion highlights our tendency to recreate unresolved conflicts in new settings. Online, these psychological patterns replay as individuals react to validation, competition, or rejection in ways that echo past wounds. Therapy allows us to explore these dynamics, offering insight into how unresolved inner conflicts manifest in the digital world. This awareness can break the cycle, enabling individuals to step out of the perpetual “drama” that online conflicts often become.
The “Unconquerable” Self in the Digital World
Today, individuals often embody the concept of the “unconquerable” self online, projecting versions of themselves that demand validation, autonomy, and recognition. This digital self, empowered by technology, seeks to be admired and “liked” yet also remains distanced, sometimes fiercely guarded against critique or closeness. Freud’s theories on the unconscious motivations behind self-presentation illustrate how digital personas can become barriers to true connection, hiding vulnerability behind a polished exterior.
4. Isolation in a Crowded Virtual World
The Paradox of Digital Loneliness
Helen’s beauty, though admired, left her alienated—a paradox reflected in today’s digital age. Many people feel lonely despite being surrounded by virtual connections, a phenomenon amplified by the curated nature of online interactions. The isolation stems from a disconnect between the image one presents and the person behind it, leaving a gap that digital “likes” and comments cannot fill.
Freud’s concept of the narcissism of minor differences explains how even among online “friends,” subtle distinctions create boundaries that lead to division rather than unity. The paradox of loneliness in an online “crowd” reveals unmet emotional needs, which therapy can address by helping individuals find ways to reconnect authentically with themselves and others.
Fragmentation and the Pursuit of Wholeness
Switching between online personas and real-life identities creates a sense of fragmentation. This constant adaptation mirrors the ancient Greek concept of duality—being torn between desire and social expectation. The pursuit of wholeness—an integration of the digital and real selves—becomes essential to mental well-being. In therapy, clients explore the unconscious motivations behind their digital personas, learning how to bridge the gap between image and reality.
Conclusion: Seeking Balance in a World of Myth and Reality
In our hyperconnected world, ancient Greek myths offer profound insights into our psychological struggles. Helen’s story reminds us of the timeless nature of desire, beauty, and connection. These universal drives can lead to connection or chaos, empowerment or isolation, depending on our awareness and intentions.
Psychotherapy provides a journey to understand these dynamics, offering insight into how our digital interactions mirror ancient struggles and addressing the emotional needs often left unmet in the virtual world. Through this exploration, individuals can move toward authentic self-expression, balancing their “unconquerable” selves with a desire for meaningful connection. In this way, therapy serves as a bridge between the mythic and the modern, guiding individuals to navigate the digital world without losing their sense of self.
By Ari Sotiriou M.A. Psychodynamic Psychotherapist asotiriou@online-therapy-clinic.com