Birthdays, as markers of time, invite reflection. This article was inspired by my own recent birthday, which brought to mind the psychoanalytic themes of time, memory, and the unconscious. In my clinical work, I frequently encounter how past experiences shape present perceptions—how we complete the gaps in our understanding not only of visual stimuli but of relationships, emotions, and expectations. This image, with its sparse yet evocative strokes, perfectly illustrates the mind’s tendency to fill in what is missing.
As a psychodynamic therapist, I wanted to explore how this natural cognitive function—so fundamental to making sense of the world—can become problematic when influenced by unresolved conflicts or traumatic experiences. British Psychoanalytic Theory, particularly the work of Bion, Winnicott, and Klein, offers a compelling lens through which to understand how our unconscious expectations shape perception. Through a composite clinical case, I illustrate how these processes manifest in relationships and how therapy can facilitate a new way of seeing and experiencing the world.
The human mind is an extraordinary instrument, constantly constructing, interpreting, and completing the world around us. When faced with sparse or ambiguous stimuli, it draws upon experience, expectation, and unconscious associations to render a coherent narrative. The minimalist image before us—simple strokes evoking the impression of a figure and its shadow—illustrates this phenomenon beautifully. We see more than is objectively present because our mind insists upon filling in the gaps.
Yet, this very ability, so essential for making sense of the world, also introduces vulnerabilities. The ways in which we unconsciously complete a picture, whether of external reality or our internal experience, can be shaped by the emotional tone of our past. If that past is marked by successful interactions, warmth, and security, the missing pieces are likely filled in optimistically. However, if prior experiences were fraught with failed negotiations, unmet needs, or trauma, the mind may unconsciously complete an image in a way that confirms these expectations of difficulty, failure, or loss.
From a British psychoanalytic perspective, rooted in the work of figures such as Wilfred Bion, Donald Winnicott, and Melanie Klein, our perception of the present is always influenced by the past, particularly by unconscious phantasies that shape expectations and interpretations. When unresolved conflicts or traumatic experiences exist, the mind does not merely ‘see’ reality but reconstructs it through a distorted lens. What we expect to happen—what our internal objects lead us to anticipate—powerfully colours how we engage with others, often leading to cycles of repetition and misunderstanding.
The Mind’s Drive to Complete the Unfinished
The image at the heart of this reflection illustrates the Gestalt principle of closure—the brain’s innate tendency to perceive incomplete forms as whole. This principle extends far beyond visual perception, shaping how we recall memories, interpret social interactions, and anticipate future events.
Memory, as modern neuroscience and psychoanalysis agree, is not a fixed archive but a reconstructive process. Each time an event is recalled, it is subtly reshaped, its gaps filled with inference, prior knowledge, or affective tone. The British object-relations theorists, particularly Klein, highlighted that the unconscious mind is constantly engaged in projecting past relationships onto present situations, shaping perception in a way that often reinforces previous experiences. When these past experiences have been fraught with frustration, neglect, or conflict, we unknowingly structure new encounters in a way that aligns with these historical templates.
Bion’s concept of beta elements and alpha function offers a particularly illuminating framework for understanding how individuals struggle to process difficult or incomplete experiences. Beta elements—raw, unprocessed emotional experiences—are difficult to think about directly; they remain undigested, recurring as projections onto the external world. The alpha function, ideally developed through early caregiving, helps transform these primitive experiences into something that can be mentally contained and reflected upon. If this function is underdeveloped due to early failures in care, the individual may find themselves compulsively completing experiences in ways that conform to past disappointments.
The Pitfalls of the Mind’s Completion Process
While the mind’s tendency to complete the incomplete is typically adaptive, it becomes problematic when the past intrudes too forcefully upon the present. This is particularly evident in individuals whose histories contain unresolved negotiations or relational traumas.
A person who has repeatedly experienced rejection in formative relationships may unconsciously complete present-day interactions in a way that confirms their expectation of being dismissed. If a partner or colleague hesitates before responding, rather than interpreting this as a moment of thoughtfulness or distraction, they may automatically assume that they are being ignored or judged. Their emotional response to this assumed rejection—perhaps withdrawal or defensiveness—may, in turn, shape the outcome of the interaction in a way that ensures repetition of the very pattern they fear.
From a clinical standpoint, these patterns are recognisable as transference phenomena, wherein past relational dynamics are unconsciously reenacted in present relationships. The past is never truly past; it remains active in the way it organises perception, expectation, and emotional response. Therapy, particularly psychodynamic work, aims to bring these patterns into consciousness, allowing for reflection rather than automatic repetition.
A Clinical Illustration: The Case of Daniel
To illustrate these dynamics, consider the composite clinical case of Daniel, a 38-year-old man who sought therapy due to recurrent difficulties in his romantic relationships. Daniel described himself as rational and perceptive, yet he repeatedly found himself caught in patterns of conflict and alienation. He frequently felt that his partners were disinterested or dismissive, even when there was little concrete evidence to support this belief.
During one session, he described a recent argument with his partner, Emma. They had been discussing weekend plans when Emma hesitated before answering a question about whether she wanted to visit his parents. In that moment, Daniel felt a sharp sense of rejection and responded curtly, interpreting her hesitation as reluctance or avoidance. This led to an argument, with Emma insisting that she had merely been thinking about her schedule and Daniel feeling that she was withholding something or disengaging emotionally.
Through exploration in therapy, it became clear that Daniel’s response was not merely about Emma’s hesitation but about a deep-seated template formed in early childhood. He had grown up with a mother who was frequently overwhelmed and emotionally unavailable. As a child, he had often sensed her emotional distance but lacked the capacity to articulate his needs. His mind had ‘completed the scene’ with the assumption that he was unwanted or a burden, an interpretation that had become ingrained as an unconscious expectation.
In therapy, Daniel began to recognise how this early experience continued to shape his perceptions. His immediate assumption that Emma’s hesitation was an indication of disengagement was not an objective reading of the situation but an echo of past disappointments. Over time, as Daniel developed greater awareness of these patterns, he was able to pause, reflect, and consider alternative interpretations, rather than reacting impulsively. This shift allowed for more open communication with Emma, gradually reshaping the dynamics of their relationship.
Conclusion: The Shadow and the Self
Returning to the image with which we began, we might now see it with deeper psychological resonance. The figure, though incomplete, is nonetheless perceived as whole. Its shadow stretches behind it, a presence both separate and connected, much like the past in relation to the present.
Our minds are constantly engaged in the task of completing what is missing, drawing upon past experience to fill in the gaps of perception, memory, and expectation. Yet, when those past experiences are marked by unresolved failures or trauma, they can distort rather than clarify. Recognising these distortions—seeing where we are repeating rather than perceiving—is at the heart of psychodynamic work.
Ultimately, the therapeutic process allows for the emergence of a different kind of completion—one not dictated by the past but shaped by a newly reflective and conscious engagement with the present. It is in this space, between what is given and what is imagined, that genuine transformation becomes possible.
By Ari Sotiriou psychodynamic therapist
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Image credit: Carlos Martin https://www.instagram.com/carlosmartinart